Shoes Don't Fit

Shoes Don't Fit
By Jon Dengler

These shoes don’t quite fit right. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not compailin’, I don’t even know what I would do if I ain’t have ‘em. I’m grateful for these socks too! They are my only pair and I’ve had ‘em on for’bout... 9 days straight now. I mean, I take them off here and there when I find a place to rest for a few, but...It’s just with all these blisters I really can’t bear to go without ‘em.

Last night I found a little corner to hide and catch some sleep. I thought I would settle in for the night so I washed ‘em off and hung ‘em next to me to dry. ‘course not an hour later, I’m guessing about the time, ya know, ‘cause I nodded off. I’ve just been so exhausted lately from all the walking and this frickin’ florida sun. Anyway I was woke up all of a sudden by what seemed like a light from heaven and a voice from hell. “Hey! Get Up! Time to move along! You can’t be here! I’m not leaving until you do!” I know I hadn’t slept long cause my socks were still soaked and...My feet just can’t go into these shoes without them so, on they go.  Damp as hell, over my blistered feet and into those terrible shoes...Which I really am grateful for!

Anyway off I go into the night, nowhere to sit or sleep where I would be free to stay put and get a little rest for my feet.

You take your feet for granted ya know, until they start to fail you that is. Then you realize how important they really are. The rest of my body depends on my feet. Your body depends on your feet too ya know. We need them to stand on. We need them to take us where we want to go...or in my case away from where we are not wanted...which is just about everywhere by the way.

Anyway man  I have compassion for my feet. And by compassion I mean I suffer with them. My whole body hurts because my feet are in such bad shape. I just wish I could rest ‘em. I wish I could wash ‘em.

My feet are a part of my body whether I like it or not and there ain’t no denying that. In fact the more they hurt the more I am aware just how much a part of the whole that they are.

You know I have heard the church described as a body. The body of Christ they say. Some people are like hands and others eyes and even feet. One shouldn’t say to the other “well because you are not an eye or a hand you ain’t no  part of the body” I couldn’t disown my feet now could I? Here’s the thing though. I do love Jesus, I love Jesus so so much but I really don’t feel like I am part of a body, not really . I mean I know that he is with me but not many others are ya know? I always smile when I think of the passage that says “He has driven me away and made me walk” HAHAHA

Ya know what else I get a kick out of? Jesus washes the feet of his disciples. Not sure what that means for me...Shoot I can’t even keep my own feet clean and he sure aint washen mine for me. It’s ok, I just keep telling myself its a spiritual thing… Spiritualizing scripture is necessary sometimes...otherwise its often just unacceptable ain’t it? You know what I’m talking about.

But now that I think about it I think I can really relate to my feet. They stink, they are ugly...people avoid me and shoot I would avoid my feet too if I could help it. I don’t really fit in anywhere either just like my feet don’t fit in these shoes. Thank god for these shoes though.

Maybe those blisters are like the all the wounds in me that I guard and keep covered up but also affect everything about the way I walk and move. Dang, there are some things like that that really do hurt and affect everything about me. hmm…

But anyway it might be wrong to think of myself as the feet because I also realize how important my feet are.

The church doesn’t depend on me, shoot, they don’t even know me. If anything I depend on them, for a sandwich and its also where I got these shoes. Have I mentioned they don’t really fit? Well whatever I am just glad they had any shoes at all that I could have.

They don’t stand on me do they? I don’t take them where they want to go do I? No, they wouldn’t go anywhere with me. Why would they? I don’t even have anywhere to go.

No I think it it’s probably pretty prideful to think of myself as the feet of the body. I wonder how I’m even part of the body. Maybe I’m not. But I do know Jesus is with me at every painful step.

Alright well I should stop now, I need to find somewhere to sit down, You just can’t go anywhere with your feet hurting this bad.